Accountability

Accountability
I hate

not you, exactly,

more your inability to accurately reflect

me.

I feel

more deeply and with more sincerity

than what?

I wonder,

why all my sentences begin with

I.

Lashing out, I take from you

on every level,

so that you may experience

The continual torture which is

Loving you

unrequitedly.

Over years you've taken

many forms,

sometimes you've even met yourself.

This latest apparition,

Perhaps the most disturbing

given strength of will

this face wavers only in importance.

but in most importance,

feign ignorance.

When did I decide

living illusion less

painful

than creating comparable reality?

Eventually, no matter how platinum,

the illusions fail

Alls left without foundation.

alone, if only.

To many, it may seem

odd,

To hold myself apart

to keep myself together.

Cyclical withdrawals accompany you

confusion

Of course, nothing wrong,

why withdrawal?

I own you on levels I don't even realize,

pulsing synergy of

two souls completely comfortable

Why isn't that enough?

I wish it was.

the secret.

Boundless enthusiasm

guards voluntarily dismissed who perhaps

should have been left in place

Does it qualify,

as an over-share if

you don't actually

share anything?

Wonder now,

how much of you is real?

So much easier, when

taken at face value,

the face falls

Left with scalding

force of ineptitude.

But you.

already so close to reality,

frequently lulled

by possibilities just

out of grasp.

Never thought to wish

for things to stay the way

they were in the beginning

A passing flame,

Brilliant light, but unable to

burn forever.

Who pushed past?

you, or me?

Logic says you.

I,

in all honesty

am too emotional to maintain.

While truth you stray,

you also linger

although sometimes where you shouldn't

and often where you can't

Finding choices in unexpected places

and unexpected choices in

difficult places.

Unquestionable loyalty traded for

?